做个听得懂男人话的聪明女人
人人都知道男人和女人的表达方式不同——但真的没有办法让“金星”听懂“火星”的话吗？准备练习一下吗？这里有五种在伴侣关系中经常出现的交流问题。
男人说：Uh huh. Right. Yeah. 嗯哼。对。是的。
女人的理解：He couldn't be less interested in what I'm saying. 他对我说的事情一点都不感兴趣。
男人本意：I want to hear your story, but it's been 10 minutes and still no punch line. 我想听你的故事，但十分钟过去了你还是没说出个所以然来。
Men don't process information in the lengthy way that women do, so telling him a story in the drawn-out way you would to one of your girlfriends isn't going to work. In short, cut to the chase and you'll get more of a reaction.
女人处理的信息冗长，而男人不是这样，所以像跟你的姐妹淘闲聊那样没完没了地讲给他听是行不通的。总之，说话直截了当，你会得到更多回应。
男人说：It's not a big deal. 没什么大不了的。
女人的理解：How trivial. （他认为）这是小事！
男人本意：Let's not dwell on it. 我们不要老想它了。
Men come from the school of suck-it-up, while women tend to need more reassurance if something is bothering them.
男人们习惯于默默承受，而女人如果碰到什么事烦扰她们，往往需要更多安慰。
男人说：I need some space. 我需要一些空间。
女人的理解：He doesn't want to be with me. 他不想和我在一起了。
男人本意：I care about you, but I also want some more independence. 我关心你，但我也想要更多的独立空间。
In many romantic relationships, men use this blanket phrase instead of being more specific, as in: "I love the connection we have, but I miss spending time with my friends as well." Use your judgment: If he's still being affectionate and just feels a bit smothered, give him some breathing room. However, if you're only hanging out once a week to begin with, it might just be that he wants to end things--in which case, walk away.
在很多恋爱关系中，男人们都会说这种模棱两可的话，而不是说得更详尽，比如， “我喜欢我们之间的关系，但我也想念跟朋友们相处的时间。”运用你的判断力：如果他仍爱你，只是觉得有点透不过气，那就给他一些喘息的空间吧。但是，如果前提是你每周只和他出去玩一次，那么这可能是他想结束关系的讯号——如果是这种情况，还是离开他为好。
男人说：I'm sorry you feel that way. 你那么想我感到很抱歉。
女人的理解：I'm being a psycho. （他认为）我神经兮兮的。
男人本意：I just really want this argument to be over. 我真的不想再吵了。
Women like to hash things out, talking issues through from start to finish. Guys, on the other hand, have much more of a flight instinct when it comes to confrontation--especially if he doesn't fully understand why you're so upset.
女人们喜欢刨根问底，将问题从头到尾说清楚。而另一方面，当发生冲突时，男人们本能地更想要逃避——尤其是当他不能充分地理解你为什么如此不悦的时候。
男人说：If you feel undervalued, ask for a raise. 如果你觉得报酬低，可以要求加薪。
女人的理解：Ugh, he think my problems are so simple--just fix it. 啊，他认为我的问题很简单，很好解决。
男人本意：Work's bothering you? Let me help! 工作让你感到困扰吗？让我来帮助你！
The truth is, men tend to see themselves as problem solvers in romantic relationships, and so what comes across as condescending can actually be your guy's way of trying to help."
事实上，在恋爱关系中，男人往往视他们自己为问题解决者，所以他表现得傲慢，实际上是他在试图帮助你。
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[English]做个听得懂男人话的聪明女人